Sometimes you just can't pretend that things are normal...or ok. Or that nothing happened. Sometimes things happen in your life that change you forever. I've experienced a few of these kind of events in my life. The kind of life changing event that has you figuring out how to be YOU again....but with this new knowledge/experience. These kind of experiences aren't always bad...sometimes they are the best things ever, and sometimes they are important lessons disguised in heartache.
The first is when we lost the twins. I changed in so many ways during that time. I lost my innocent view on life. I found a deeper love for my husband. I longed for a baby more then ever. I grew up. I learned how to laugh and smile again. I learned what sorrow was.
The next was when Hailey was born (and Paige too of course). I learned how to love like I never had before. I learned what motherly guilt really felt like. I felt exhaustion like never before. I joined the 'motherhood club'. Again I found a deeper love for my husband. I learned what true joy was.
This summer our family experienced something else that changed me...and everyone involved. It's not really my story to share, but it's also something I feel strongly about. I feel like it wouldn't be fair to share the rest of my summer and not talk about this at all. I also feel like others need to learn from this. So I will share in minimal detail what it is that changed my life again.
My little family camped with my husbands family this summer. At one point we lost my sweet little toddler nephew and then found his lifeless body floating in a pond. We watched as his courageous mother performed CPR and brought him back to life. I can describe in great detail how horrifying this was for everyone there, and how awful the nightmares have been the haunt us still. But I won't. Like I said it's not really my story to tell. But, I do feel like sharing this with everyone:
PLEASE update your CPR! We're so grateful that my nephew's mother had recently re-certified her first aid/CPR.
PLEASE always watch your children. It literally takes 5 seconds for a child to disappear from sight. Be especially careful around water.
PLEASE always appreciate the beauty of your children...life is so precious!
Like I said earlier, this has changed my life in many ways. I have learned that no matter how difficult life with little ones can be, I need to be grateful for the blessing they are in my life. I've felt true fear. I've found comfort in my family and feel like family is more important then most anything. I've cried as my desperate prayers were answered. I'm still struggling to balance life with this constant fear I now have. I've learned to rejoice in every single breath my children take. I've learned to love a little bit deeper and a little bit more.
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3 comments:
Life is so precious. Thank you for your thoughtful and touching post and I hope we all are encouraged to enjoy every minute of these precious lives entrusted to us and keep our children and grandchildren safe. Everyone sign up and take a CPR course!
Love and Hugs,
G-Ma
I can't even explain my feelings when I read this. Fear and faith were most prominent I think. My heart dropped into my stomach, and then I felt goosebumps picturing this courageous mother saving her sons life. This is something I hope to never go through personally and I compeletely understand your fears that you have now. Life is truly so precious. Our children are most precious. I both loved and dreaded becoming a mother. It was such a beautiful experience unlike any other on this earth, and yet all of the sudden I had SO MUCH to lose. I am not sure how I would handle losing something as precious as my children, and I pray that I won't find out. With this little boy that was ubducted recently in BC I have found myself (my very large and pregnant self) sleeping in the hallway in front of my childrens bedroom doors. I am more tired in the morning then when I went to bed and every part of my body is sore from lying on the carpet all night. But they just mean THAT much to me. I know all Mothers feel the same. Just as I am incredibly grateful that this little boy was returned to his family, I rejoice that your nephew too was able to stay with his. What a heartfelt and touching reminder to be in constant knowledge of our childrens whereabouts and to heed the promptings of the spirit as your sister in law did in renewing her CPR. Thank you so much for sharing.
I can't think of anything more frightening. I'll be taking a CPR course now.
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