Thursday, July 02, 2015

Going Private

I've always loved the idea of a public blog. I feel like for the most part this blog is relatively private anyway. Because honestly, who really wants to read about my everyday life? But for those that do read it, I never want to alienate you and make you feel like you need to be a close friend to read it! BUT...some things have happened recently in our life (I won't  go into details) and it's been brought to my attention that this blog needs to be private. For now at least. It might not stay that way forever. But for now it does. So I thought I'd just make this post...notify my few friends that I'll be switching over to private soon, and then sometime in the next few days I'll make the official switch. So...if you read this and want to continue reading this ol' blog, just send me an email to the email on my profile...or message me on facebook or whatever works! K? Ok.



Saturday, June 13, 2015

The Birth Story

Nora Ada...this little girl came roaring into this world! Fast and Furious! My first contraction was at 1:15 am, and she was born at 5:32 am. I called my parents when I felt the first contraction and had them drive out to our house right then. I've never had any false labour before so I knew that when I felt a real contraction that would be it. Because my other labours have been fast too we did have a friend on call just in case my parents didn't make it in time. luckily they did.

We arrived at the hospital at 3:30am and they immediately checked me in...I was 5cm and I was STAYING! My contractions were still pretty friendly and weren't causing me too much pain. So when the nurse asked what my pain management plan was I said I was happy to wait and see. Honestly...I should have known that was code for - don't give me anything! At about 5:00am my water broke and the nurse checked me again...9 cm!! YAY!! They called the doctor in to the hospital and was all prepped to start pushing. I was feeling so strong and proud of myself because until this point my labour had been completely bearable! Yay me!! No real pain!! Then the doctor came and checked me and delivered the most unfortunate news ever! I was only 6cm. Let me tell you, I just started crying at that point. There was no way I was only 6cm, because that meant I would actually have to feel some serious pain. I wasn't anywhere near being done! So I MADE them call the anaesthesiologist in to give me an epidural. They warned me that he wasn't actually at the hospital (stupid low risk clinic - they want to be as intervention free as possible so they try to discourage the epidrual) and that it would take about 30 min before it would be ready. I didn't care how long it took...I wanted him there!! So they called him. And then things go intense! Really intense. I started begging for anything to take the pain away and they offered me the laughing gas, which has never worked in the past. Well, this time it worked...a bit! It at least took the edge off. So for three glorious contraction the pain was a little milder. And then I realized I had to push! I yelled to the nurse that I was pushing and she calmly told me not to yet because I wasn't fully dilated, to which I responded with a very mature "I KNOOOOOOOW".

Well the next contraction came and there was no doubting it...the baby was there and she was coming out. I hopped onto the bed and started pushing her out as the doctor and nurses scrambled to get into position. And then things got a little weird. Normally everyone tells you what to do, how to push, how long, how hard etc. but this time no one was saying anything! I knew her head was out and that was it. They were all furiously working on something and I just wanted some instruction. I asked if I could push again and they said 'just give us a minute'! So I waited that next contraction out and then Ben whispered "just give a little push" so I did and she popped out. Then plan was to have her on my chest instantly, but they didn't put her on me. They actually cut her cord quickly, and still nothing. No crying, no baby on my chest, no congratulations! Nothing. For a minute. Just a minute. Not long enough for me to know something was really wrong, but long enough to know something was happening. And then they called for help...and I gave Ben a look like "what's happening" and then she cried!!!! That baby girl started crying. They cancelled their call for help and reassured me over and over and over again that everything was alright! She was going to be ok! And she was. What I didn't know at the time was that her cord was wrapped around her and it was stuck. They couldn't untangle her until I pushed her body out. And then she wasn't breathing, and they had to resuscitate her. Which obviously worked because she was breathing and screaming a minute later. So not long enough to be scary, but long enough to be worrisome. In the end it all worked out and they eventually brought her over to me for some skin to skin time. And that baby girl of mine just latched right on and started nursing like a pro! I was so happy to be done!! She was a tough labour...quick but tough!


That day we had the girls and my parents in for a visit. My new mom hormones were working overtime and I was a bag of emotions. I still am. Seeing her with her big sisters was just the best thing ever! They kept asking for a name....and we just didn't have one! I had like Ada (Ben's Grannie's middle name) from day one, but Ben just wasn't sold. So we laid there and went through names for hours until one seemed right. Ben mentioned Nora...and something just clicked in my mind. She LOOKED like a Nora. So much. All that dark hair just screamed Nora to me. And I know she'll end up blonde like the others (Paige did at least...the other two were blonde from day one). But even as a blonde I can still see her as a Nora. So we went to bed that night thinking about her name. The next day we were still uncertain. We couldn't decide. So we called a good friend (Angie) and she said she liked Nora...so we went with it! Nora Ada it is! And it's just so perfectly her! The girls are in heaven. We're all in heaven. I'm adjusting. My Hormones are a mess...and I know we'll all be ok. But it's going to take me some time to level out a bit. Until then I'm just enjoying this sweet little girl who loves to be held and nursed and snuggled all day long!! Welcome to the family Nora!!






















by the way...the anesthesiologist showed up about 15 minutes after she was born! Seriously...every single time I have a baby this happens to me!!

Monday, June 08, 2015

Nora Ada

Introducing:

 Nora Ada McCance

June 1 2015

5:32 am

8lbs 9 oz

21.5in 


We are so in LOVE

Friday, May 29, 2015

iPhone rescue

These last few weeks have been really hard. I'm usually a happy camper right up until the end of my pregnancy but this time I'm just barely hanging on. I'm exhausted and sore and I hardly ever leave my spot on the couch. My poor girls have the lamest mom in the world. But thank goodness for the phone and it's super crappy pictures! Because these are the only pictures I have to document these last days of this pregnancy! We've been busy! I've been nesting like crazy...like crazy. I have cleaned and organized every single closet in this house (but mine because I'll need to do it anyway once I rid myself of my maternity clothes). I've cooked a million freezer meals for when this baby arrives. I've organized the girls rooms and made room for the baby. I've purchased bins and made cute labels for them so that when the baby comes we won't be wondering wear the sunscreen is. Because you know, that's very important. I clean our bathrooms ALL the time just in case I go into labour - I need a clean bathroom you know! Some of it's logical, most of it's not. But it works and it's keeping my busy!

I also spent a rainy Saturday with my mom doing some sewing! We made baby blankets (which we didn't actually sew...just cut some jersey fabric into a square), little baby bandanna bibs (we DID sew these) and some little hair bow head wrap things (also involved sewing). While we sewed my girls played and played and then went out searching for worms. The found the biggest grossest worm in the world and were mesmerized!


I'm officially huge! Actually not as huge as I've been in the past! We had a little scare where I was measuring quite large, which resulted in a BPP (Bio-physical-profile) ultrasound, which resulted in a non-stress test because the baby wasn't doing her practice breathing. But all ended well, and at my next appointment I was measuring right on. But at least we now know for SURE it's a girls!
 Paige was involved in a school assembly today. The day before she asked if I could make her a deer costume for her part in the performance!! The 39 week pregnant momma that I am said - go find something in the dress up box. Which she did. And I must say, she was the cutest giraffe the forest has ever seen! In my defense though...most the other kids didn't have deer costumes either! Or any costume at all. So I feel like we were totally more on top of things than most!

This last week has been extra stressful because Hailey came down with a pretty intense kidney infection. It was honestly a little bit scary - but a nice change from Cait's infections! With Hailey though, she ended up needing two rounds of IV antibiotics to beat the darn thing. I'm just glad this hit BEFORE baby and not after. I don't know how I could have done it with a new baby. She seems to be feeling a bit better and now we just need to finish up with the oral antibiotics and all should be good!

So besides that I'm ready for this baby! We need to get through tomorrow first (Grandpa's 60th birthday party) and then Sunday too (Cait gets to go see Dora live with her cousin Liam). Once those two events are done then we can have this baby! I'm hoping for June 1st so she can share a Birthday with Grandpa McCance...but I don't want to get my hopes up. I'm not due until the 4th of June! So we shall see!!

Friday, May 15, 2015

Mother's Day

This year for Mother's day I was feeling so done...being pregnant that is! Honestly, this baby is sure doing a number on my body! I'm constantly hurting and I feel like I just can't do half of what I usually can when pregnant! BUT Besides being huge and pregnant, I was very excited to spend this Mother's Day with my three big girls. They had been working hard in school to make gifts more me and I was so excited! The day started out perfectly: Breakfast in bed made for me by my girls (with the help of Dad of course). Then I tried to take a picture of the three of them - which was a LOT harder than I expected. At least two of them have a hard time looking AT the camera while smiling! But I got ONE! And look at them...aren't they perfect?? Then off to church....then home for a nap and lunch in bed. Haha...everything's 'in bed' when you're this pregnant! And then off to Nate and Tan's for a big ol' Mothers day Dinner with my family! I should also note that the day before Lauren and I put together a little Mother's Day brunch for Ben's mom!

Anyway, I'm so grateful for the Mother's I have in my life...my own mom, my Mother in Law, my sisters, cousins, aunts, friends and so on. These are the people who have mothered me, taught me how to be a mother myself, or helped me mother my children! I've had the best influences and examples in the area that you could possibly imagine. I'm really so grateful and lucky! I'm especially grateful that I get to Mother these little girls of mine! What joy they bring into my life!!I couldn't have asked for a better group of girls to raise and I'm so excited to meet our newest addition! Mothering...it's the best!


Tuesday, May 05, 2015

On bringing another baby into this Family

Some days I feel like I'm going crazy and I can barely handle the three kids I have and I can't imagine what it'll be like with a 4th. And some days I get really scared about the idea of going back to that baby stage and starting it all over again. Some days I look at Cait and wonder how she's going to handle this big change. She's been our baby for so long and because of the struggles she's had I feel like she got 'babied' a little more than the others ever did. Some days I wonder if we made the right choice. And then I remember being scared when I was pregnant with Hailey and she was such a blessing in our life. I felt this exact same way when I was pregnant with Paige - and now I couldn't imagine life without her. And then when I was pregnant with Cait those same fears crept back, and once again I couldn't imagine not having her in our family. So I know that I will feel the same way about this new baby. She will fill a void we never realized we had and it will be perfect. A challenge but perfect.

One thing I do know is that I struggle with Post Partum Depression after I have my babies. And I am truly so scared to face that demon again. But I have a game plan this time around. I'm going to let myself fail. I'll let the house get dirty, I'll feed the kids more popsicles and cookies than should be allowed, I'll try to worry less about whether this baby is meeting the sleep milestones I know other babies are meeting, I'll worry less about losing this baby weight, I'll take time to relax more and not stress about keeping up with my friends, I'll find ways to enjoy the quiet (or not so quiet) night feedings, I won't worry about getting the baby on a bottle or sleeping in her own room. I just plan to not worry about it all so much. I plan to not compare or try to keep up with those around me. I won't get caught up in that game, and I know I have in the past. I'll admit to others when I'm struggling and I'll accept their help when they offer. I'm going to plan to fail a little bit more. And I hope that works this time! But if it doesn't, I know I'll come through it. I have before and it's all worked out fine!




Thursday, April 23, 2015

On Having 4 girls

I'm sure I beat this subject to death...and everyone's sick of hearing about it. But really, I get asked about this ALL the time. How do we feel about having another girl...and I'm not really sure how else to respond other than say "we're thrilled". Because it's the truth. We are so happy. Did we want a boy? Were we trying for a boy? No and No. Not that we DIDN'T want a boy, but we knew full well that we were going to get what we were going to get regardless of our opinion. It's luck of the draw and what we drew was pretty lucky. Would we have been over the moon excited if this baby was a boy? Yes! Anymore excited than we are now knowing it's a girl? No. It just really makes no difference to us. There are benefits to either gender and although I'll miss out on lots of boy milestones, I certainly won't miss out on the girls ones. I'm sure our teenage years will be crazy, but maybe they won't. What I do know is that our house is filled with all sorts of girly things like Princess Charm school, princess everything, Barbies, Hair Salons, Baby dolls, more pink than you could ever imagine and even more Princess stuff. I also know that our home is full of some typical boy stuff like Dinosaurs and Rocks and quads and mud and bugs and worms and so on. We might have a smaller toy car selection than most homes, and we don't have any trains here, but no one's missing out. Our girls have the privilege of being who ever they want to be...and sometimes that includes a lot of pink, and sometimes it doesn't. We're happy about that. We very excited to add one more personality to this mix. Even though they're all girls, not one of these three is the same. Each came with their own challenges and especially their own talents.

Now, I know some people have said "poor Ben". And you know what...I don't think he's feeling to bad about this situation. He's got 3 amazing girls right now that just adore him. What more could he ask for? A boy to go quadding or hunting with? Well...he's got three willing girls? In fact I think he's winning right now...how easy are bathroom breaks at the mall when you don't have any kids to take to the men's room? Or the change room at the pool? Totally a breeze when it's just you! I think there are certain things he would have liked to experience with a son that he won't with a girl...but then there are certain things he can experience with his daughters that he wouldn't with a son. So he's in the same boat I am...more than thrilled to be welcoming another little girl to this mix!