So life felt very strange that last week of June. There were
things we had to do and no way of avoiding them. Like the last day of school. Like
dealing with insurance, the police, writing statements etc. Like taking care of
our children. And not that we would ever want to avoid our children, but
sometimes when things have been so turned upside down it's hard to find your
footing and do those kind of things as easily as we used to. At one point that
week we heard the Ice cream truck. Our kids had been out playing in the sprinkler
and they begged for ice cream. Normally I would have been all over that...total
kid at heart. But not that day. That day things just felt too hard. But I
looked into the eyes of my perfect children and saw how they knew too much
about death...and sadness...and depression...and it just broke my heart. So I
promised to let them be little again, and we chased that ice cream truck down
and bought them their overprices Popsicles. And we were a family full of smiles
for those few moments.
And then the next day we woke those girls up early, had them
pose for a quick picture and sent them off to their last day of school. It was
Paige's Birthday and my heart was breaking a little for her. We'd already
cancelled her Birthday party as there was no way I was going to be do it
anymore. We had to head down south for the funeral that afternoon and I wasn't
going to see her all day. All day. On her Birthday. The thing is, she was ok
with it all! She's tough. Plus Grandma and Grandpa came to take care of
them...and I think that as more of a treat than anything!
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